Friday, May 09, 2014

Thoughts On Thoughts

I've been officially unemployed for about a week and a half now and it still doesn't feel real. So far it's felt like a staycation, where I'm running errands and cleaning the house, but I feel like I'll be going back at some point. 

I've enjoyed talking with friends and seeing friends more regularly, which has been so fun! However, I've also had A LOT of time to myself, more than I'm used to.

The other morning I'd been driving and sometimes I turn the radio off so I'll hopefully pray more or think and worship, that kind of thing. This particular day I was mostly thinking.

I thought to myself, "I did so much yesterday and CC didn't even ask how my day went! I asked him about his day and he asked about the movie I saw, but he didn't ask about the rest of my day. Maybe it's because now that I'm home, he thinks he knows what I do all day and I'm boring and have nothing to say, and it doesn't matter anymore."

Then I had to correct myself because CC had noticed something... "Oh wait, he did comment last night that he noticed I'd done the laundry and he was appreciative of that. So there's one thing. But he still didn't ask what else I did or anything!"

And then... I miraculously realized what was happening! I haven't been at this whole stay-at-home thing long, but I understand that satan uses that thinking time to his advantage even more than before! There's no one else to distract me from the rabbit hole I went down, or anyone to correct my thinking since it's not said out loud to anyone else... I KNOW I am valued and important and vital to my family, whether or not I was praised for cleaning the bathroom.

Later that night I told CC about my epiphany and he found it very interesting. Yesterday he found the perfect verse to help keep my thoughts in check- maybe it will help you too.

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." - 2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV

I'm going to try to memorize this one for those moments I realize I'm getting all twisted. I'm not so great at the memorizing but I think this is worth it for the new stage of life I'm in.

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